Thursday, November 6, 2008


2 days have gone by and sometimes I still feel bad that McCain did not win the election, but I know I need to get over it.

I'm ashamed of my lack of faith. The Lord is still in control. Maybe I'm upset because for the first time ever, the candidate I voted for lost. Actually, typing that has made me realize that I'm upset because Obama is Pro-Choice, He supports stem cell research (which I feel is selfish because we're just trying to find ways to keep us alive longer), and I feel our healthcare system will suffer with his healthcare plans. I could go on and on but I won't because this too shall pass.

I'm sorry for the negative things I have said/thought, I'm sorry for not trusting the Lord's soverignty in all this. I believe that the God who helped me cope w/my dad's cancer is the same God who is in control today. I believe that the God who healed my broken heart and has helped me overcome many obstacles is the same today as he was back then. My God is unchanging, he is in control and he never lets go. I choose to put my hope in him alone.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Lord's Will

I was having a lot of trouble trying to figure out what the Lords will is for my life.

I had a lot of questions for him (should I try out for rec team? should i go to mexico in december? what should my spring schedule look like? what should i do after graduation?)

I kept on hearing people say "pray about it" and "be still"

so i did

but still i heard nothing

i sat still but i could only hear myself


I REALLY prayed

I prayed believing that God would answer me

and guess what!


i randomly flipped to a page from one of my devotionals and this is what it said: "he who holds his tongue is wise." Proverbs 10:19. When you pray, my child, do not make it a one-way conversation. Know I am listening, but know also I will respond and will speak to you if you give Me opportunity. Prayer is not only of the lips, but of the ear also, for prayer is of the heart, and the heart that has learned to love has learned to listen more than to speak. When you come to Me in prayer, you ought to come to enjoy Me, not to entertain me.

that sooooooooooo spoke to me

because as of late Ive been trying to hear from Heaven but all I've been doing is talking. so i decided to pray and listen

but still i didn't feel satisfied

so what did i do?

i opened up ANOTHER devotional! lol

before i opened it I prayed, and i asked God to make this message blatantly obvious because i still wasn't getting it

and guess what i randomly flipped to? (I promise that i'm not making this up! this whole story is so like God!)

anyways i flipped to Do you want to know God's will? " Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path" Psalm 119:105 -One of the mysteries of life is the will of God. While it's true we'll never know all of God's will, we can know a lot of what He wants us to do by spending time with Him. So you can say that the only way to really know God's will is to really know God. How do you do that? By reading the bible and by talking to him as often as you can.


So i'm still praying

The only thing i for sure know is that He doesn't want me to join REC team. The Lord has completely taken away that desire.

Now i just need him to answer the following questions: should i go to mexico in december? what should my spring schedule look like? what should i do after graduation?

Sorry, this blog was so long...Bless your soul if ya read the whole thing! =)