I want him to be my treasure...

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord..." Philippians 3.8


I take this to mean that when I get a glimpse of Christ, because he is so infinitely beautiful and valuable, I will naturally give up anything that gets in the way of knowing Him better. Beholding Him is what dulls the power of this world around us. Gazing on Him is what releases us from this awareness of ourselves. Fixing our mind on Him is our only hope of being released from this unrelenting tyranny of self. I find that I spend too much time organizing sin and success in my life. I spend too much time thinking about, well, me. I want what Paul had. I want to be sooooo distracted by the beauty of Christ that I actually forget about myself altogether. 


Is it possible? Is it attainable?


I think it is the goal, the prize, the point. I want to know Christ. I want to become, beautifully unaware.

Trusting the Lord.....

Trust in the Lord at all times you people, pour out your heart before Him, the Lord is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8

God not only gives us permission to unload on Him, but He actually commands it.

"Pour out your hearts before Him." There it is, right up front, loud and clear. Pour it out. Hold nothing back. Don't filter what's right and what's wrong. If there are no words, don't worry about coherency. God knows our hearts, and He wants it all. The good, the bad, and especially the ugly. Maybe God is simply saying, "Stop trying to make yourself presentable. Stop trying to figure things out on your own. Stop trying to play it safe. Come to me and I'll give you rest. Tell me your problems before you go complaining to a friend. I can handle it."

Being presentable is something I struggle with. I don't think there is one person that I trust enough with all of my worries. Sure, I talk to my friends about issues that come up, but I never unload it on just ONE person. I talk it out, with the ones that I trust. I don't unload on just one person because I don't want to burden them. Also, I'm afraid of being judged. I'm afraid they'll think that I don't have it as together as they thought.

I sometimes get fooled into thinking that if it isn't holy, then I need to keep it secret, but then, maybe that's the only way He can make us holy...when all that darkness is brought into the light.

Think about it. God's very own Son had reservations about the cross, but He brought it to His Father. He sweat blood, but hey, I'm sure glad that He didn't turn to the disciples for counsel. They were asleep.

God wants us to bring our whole hearts before Him. He already knows it, He just wants us to know it. I heard it said once that every man's most desperate desire is to be known completely and loved still.

When we bring everything before the Lord; no sensors, no filters, no reservations, when we finally stand as Adam and Eve once stood, naked and bare in His presence, only then will we see the true measure of His grace and love.

Imagine that....

God knowing every dark and hidden place that you've worked so hard to keep secret, and then saying, "You are my child. I love you. I died for love of you." I cannot think of a more confident refuge in all this world or the next.

What have you held back? What are you afraid to bring before Him?

I need to trust in the Lord's forgiveness, it's been bought with the blood of Jesus. There is no stain so deep that it cannot cleanse. I need to pour out my heart, let loose my soul, throw down every question, dream, hope, fear, and failure at the foot of the cross.

The Lord bids us to come.

Come and rest, for He is our refuge. His love never fails.

~Locker Room Connections~

I must confess that I've been really bad the last couple of weeks! How so? Well, today was the first time I worked out this month, and I've been going out to eat..a lot! I can blame it on a lotta things...stress, finals, drama, injuries, but ultimately it was my lack of willpower. If I really wanted to, I would've kept going strong.

Today, I finally went back to the gym. Thank goodness! I forgot how much it can help with clearing your head. While I was running, I started thinking about working out in a spiritual manner. Hope it makes sense.....

• When I workout everyday I don't make as many unhealthy food selections because I remember how long I have to run to burn it off.
  
  • Same with Jesus. When I'm in a season of constantly spending time with Him, I easily resist temptations and can more clearly recognize his voice.

• Another example is the pain/discomfort that accompanies a good workout. I welcome it because I know that the pain is temporary, and helping me be healthier.
  
  • It's the same way in our spiritual lives. When we face trials of any kind we can trust that God is just helping us mature: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

So far, I've had an awesome summer. I wish I could go into all my blessings but I won't because I'm exhausted and I still have some other things to do before I go to bed.

Next week I'm going to Colorado with Younglife! I'm excited and anxious. Please join me in prayer, I need the Lord to prepare my heart for whatever I encounter there.

Thanks for reading! I love you!

!!!FRUSTRATED!!!/Prayer request

Last night, I sprained my ankle. Normally, it wouldn't be such a big deal buuuuuuuuut look at my schedule:

Thursday: Move to my new apt and Check out my residents
Friday: Continue to check out my residents and YL/Astros Game
Saturday: Mother's day thing in the afternoon, babysittin in the evening, and continuing to checkout residents.
Sunday: Finish moving into my new apt

NEXT WEEK

A trip to Colorado.


I'm also afraid of losing my motivation to workout by the time I'm healed =(

AHHHHHHH, Please pray for quick healing!!!

Also, if you have crutches can I please borrow them? Plllllllllllllllllllllllllease!!!

pt 2 of Belief over Misery

I talked to a friend about how I was feeling, and just telling him made me feel a whole lot better!!! I feel like I'm no longer carrying this huuuuge burden! I love when friends lift you up like that because you can feel a hint of God's love in those relationships.

Maybe, that's why scripture calls us to confess our sins to one another..haha. God knew what he was talking about!! =)

I'm working on being patient.

I need to be patient.

Lord, help me be patient!

I just have one more week and then school ends. How crazy is that??? Ahhh!

I'm giving myself a challenge for the month of May. Depending on how well it turns out I may challenge myself to do something every month.

Anyways,

In May, I want to tell 4 people that I love them. I'm sure they assume it, but I want them to hear it from my mouth... for the first time ever.

Belief over Misery

I'm scared.

Lately, I have been living a life unworthy of the calling I have received. I'm being convicted by God. I guess this is my confession...

For some reason, I feel like I know what's best for me, which is ridiculous because when I walk in God's will he blesses me. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; Jesus comes so I may have life, and have it abundantly! If I know this, then why am I still doing thing's that I probably shouldn't? Don't get me wrong, I'm not participating in some terrible sin that would surprise you, but then again all sins are equal in our Fathers eyes, aren't they? I guess I should stop trying to justify my behavior. I am called to be a light in this world, and currently I am not.

I'm tired of this world. I hate it. I'm tired of waiting. Why can't he just come to rescue us all? I'm done with it all. I'm thankful for the lot in life that the Lord has given me, but how long must we wait? I'm ready for the day when He will wipe every tear from our eyes and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, because the old order of things has passed!

I guess I really need to pray that the plans I have for myself align with what God has in store for me because I keep on getting dissapointed. I just really wish he would take these desires away from me! That would keep me from going off and making my own plans. I'm sure the summer will help. I know it will.

My God is a faithful God. Come and comfort me Lord! I need to feel your presence. Make me believe that you are all I need when I'm surrounded. Be my feast in the presence of enemies! Let Your rod and Your staff comfort me. I'm empty Lord, please fill me!

EDIT

If I claim to love God, then I will follow his commands. I'm either Hot or Cold...not Lukewarm.

I see the Heart of God in His commands. He doesn't give commands to limit my life, but He gives them to direct and guide my life into the joys he has in store for me!

I will try not to push back from His commands. I will accept them as the gift that they are because He loves me!

Faithful Advice

So i have a friend who is so very wise. I was reading her blog and found out that she was also trying to get fit. I found the following to be very encouraging. Hopefully, you will too!

"I need to be a good steward of my body. Jesus made it and loves it. I need to take care of it. If I keep my weight in perspective and not make it my treasure but to make it my act of worship. By keeping myself fit- I honor God with my body. I don't have any illnesses, I don't have any genetic things that make me more likely to be in bad health. I honor God by taking care of what He has entrusted me with."

Me losing weight will be an act of worship to God. I won't make it my treasure! Also, i hope to make it a bonus for my future husband...wherever he is! haha.

Blessing

I have a friend who encourages me to be a better person. Both spiritually and physically.They are such a blessing to me and they don't even know it. Mostly, because I'm afraid to tell them.

...Maybe, cuz it's a guy and I don't want him to think that I'm in love with him. We're friends, but we're not that close.... I believe he'll get his treasure in Heaven. Or maybe one day, I'll be comfortable enough to tell him.

But for now this will have to do: Thank you! I dunno if you'll ever read this, but thank you for making me a better person!

I just had to throw it out there =)

Happy!

The Lord has heard our cries and prayers! My dad's biopsy proved that the masses he has our not cancerous.

PRAISE THE LORD FOR HE IS GOOD!

Sad

My dad went to his oncologist today. Turns out he may have Hodgkin lymphoma again =(

I'm gonna go to the doctor with him tomorrow. he's getting a PET scan. We'll know more when he gets the results of that.

I'm sad. I really really am. How do you feel at peace with a situation like this? I need prayer for him and for me. lots and lots and lots of it.

when your dad is sick, how can you worry about anything else?

other things just don't seem to matter as much....