Deliver Me....

Deliver me out of the sadness
Deliver me from all the madness
Deliver me this cross that I'm bearing

Oh, deliver me

Jesus, Jesus how I trust You
How I've proved You o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus....

Deliver me

dad

today was hard. my dad is facing another hardship, and although he puts his best foot forward i know he's struggling.

i dunno why bad things always seem to happen to him. i know God never gives us more than we can handle, but seriously he's had enough!

what's really weird is that this whole week God put it on my heart to pray for him. i mean REALLY pray for him.

please keep him in your prayers. he needs the Lords comfort during this difficult time.

Yet

All attempts have failed
All my heads are tails
I'm losing ground and gaining speed
I've lost myself or most of me

But you haven't lost me yet
I'll sing until my heart caves in
No, you haven't lost me

Nightmares haunt my days
Visions blur my nights
I'm so confused
What's true or false
What's fact or fiction after all

But you haven't lost me yet
I'll run until my heart caves in
No, you haven't lost me yet

If it doesn't break your heart it isn't love

remember me?

I'm at work and it's super slow...

I read the following proverb this morning: A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. 12:16

and I really feel like God has given me several opportunities today to stay calm "when insulted."

For example, I work as a receptionist at the Wellness Center. My job mostly consists of checking members in. Well, today I greeted a member and stretched out my hand so they could hand me their membership card like i usually do and they placed it on the counter. That really annoyed me, but remembering the proverb I just smiled and said Thank you. If my flesh was at work I would not have handed it back to them... I would've put it right back on that counter!

I won't go into more examples because remembering them kind of puts me in a bad mood, but I will share some blessings with you. I lost my phone and some basketball players from building one found it. Also, some girl scouts were selling some cookies and a member bought me a box!!! i was genuinely surprised!

well, i better go now. it's time to reconcile my till!

i'll try to blog more often.

Confessions- St. Agustine

St. Agustine, I can tell we're going to be great friends. Never mind that your dead- your prayers are my prayers. You verbalize what I struggle to say. So I'll borrow your words.

Too late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient, O Beauty so new. Too late have I loved you! You were within me but I was outside myself, and there I sought you! In my weakness I ran after the beauty of the things you have made. You were with me, and I was not with you. The things you have made kept me from you - the things which would have no being unless they existed in you! You have called, you have cried, and you have pierced my deafness. You have radiated forth, you have shined out brightly, and you have dispelled my blindness. You have sent forth your fragrance, and I have breathed it in, and I long for you. I have tasted you, and I hunger and thirst for you. You have touched me, and I ardently desire your peace.

Lord Jesus, let me know myself and know You, and desire nothing save only You.
Let me hate myself and love You.
Let me do everything for the sake of You.
Let me humble myself and exalt You.
Let me think of nothing except You.
Let me die to myself and live in You.
Let me accept whatever happens as from You.
Let me banish self and follow You, and ever desire to follow You.
Let me fly from myself and take refuge in You,
That I may deserve to be defended by You.
Let me fear for myself.
Let me fear You, and let me be among those who are chosen by You.
Let me distrust myself and put my trust in You.
Let me be willing to obey for the sake of You.
Let me cling to nothing save only to You,
And let me be poor because of You.
Look upon me, that I may love You.
Call me that I may see You, and for ever enjoy You

The house of my soul is too small to receive you; let it be enlarged by you. It is all in ruins; do you repair it. There are thing in it - I confess and I know - that must offend your sight. But who shall cleanse it? Or to what others besides you shall I cry out? From my secret sins cleanse me, O Lord, and from those of others spare your servant.

My God, let me know and love you, so that I may find my happiness in you. Since I cannot fully achieve this on earth, help me to improve daily until I may do so to the full Enable me to know you ever more on earth, so that I may know you perfectly in heaven. Enable me to love you ever more on earth, so that I may love you perfectly in heave. In that way my joy may be great on earth, and perfect with you in heaven. O God of truth, grant me the happiness of heaven so that my joy may be full in accord with your promise. In the meantime let my mind dwell on that happiness, my tongue speak of it, my heart pine for it, my mouth pronounce it, my soul hunger for it, my flesh thirst for it, and my entire being desire it until I enter through death in the joy of my Lord forever.

I'll share other treasures as I stumble across them

-m

Reflections-One Year Ago

One Year Ago
Moved out of my house!
Lived with Sarah
Met Aaron Shust for the first time
Worked at Viscount Travel
Became an RA
Met Isis
Saw Faith for the first time in two years
Was not comfortable praying out loud
Was driving a Honda Accord
My closest friend at HBU was Sarah.
I was in summer school
Had only been to one other state
LA moved to Houston!
Attended Wilcrest Baptist Church

This Year
Live in a new apartment with no roomie =(
I'm friends with Aaron!!
I have a new job
Isis has moved
Have no problem praying aloud
Drive a Honda Civic
Have several close friends at HBU!
Can't imagine how boring my summer would be w/o my Colorado friends!!
Have been to 5 states
Attend Ecclessia


Where will I be a year from now? I can only imagine....

Go forth to life, O child of earth!

Go forth to life, O child of earth!
Still mindful of thy heav’nly birth;
Thou art not here for ease, or sin,
But manhood’s noble crown to win.

Tho’ passion’s fires are in thy soul,
Thy spirit can their flames control;
Tho’ tempters strong beset thy way,
Thy spirit is more strong than they.

Go on from innocence of youth
To manly purity and truth;
God’s angels still are near to save,
And God Himself doth help the brave.

Then forth to life, O child of earth!
Be worthy of thy heav’nly birth!
For noble service thou art here;
Thy brothers help, thy God revere!

Distracted

God of everything I see, Come create again in me. You were yesterday, and You will always be. So take each breath that I breathe, and be the life that I bleed. Create again in me...

The past month has been interesting.

Blessings: made some awesome new friends who I instantly bonded with, got a job, saw Aaron, have had a lot of free time to spend with the Lord.

However, I feel like I've been distracted. I stopped working out as consistently as I used to, I've started spending more and more time with people that I probably shouldn't.

Some days, I feel so content with my relationship with God. I can't even explain it. But somehow, negative thoughts creep in and bring me down. I'm training myself not to dwell on those things, rather on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Paul always gives great advice.

I really wanna see Robbie Seay in concert on Sunday. I need to be in a place of corporate worship soon. That's when I feel closest to God.

I feel like I've been spending a lot of time in the Word lately, but I feel like the more I draw near to Him the farther I feel away from him. Does that make sense? The more I learn about His compassion, grace, and mercy the more clearly can I feel the depth of our fall and the weight of it all.

Well, it's getting late, and I have to go in to work in 6 hrs. I should try to rest.

My favorite Psalm....

You are kind, God! Please have pity on me. You are always merciful! Please wipe away my sins. Wash me clean from all of my sin and guilt. I know about my sins, and I cannot forget my terrible guilt. You are really the one I have sinned against; I have disobeyed you and have done wrong. So it is right and fair for you to correct and punish me.I have sinned and done wrong since the day I was born. But you want complete honesty, so teach me true wisdom. Wash me with hyssop until I am clean and whiter than snow. Let me be happy and joyful! You crushed my bones, now let them celebrate. Turn your eyes from my sin and cover my guilt. Create pure thoughts in me and make me faithful again. Don't chase me away from you or take your Holy Spirit away from me. Make me as happy as you did when you saved me; make me want to obey! I will teach sinners your Law, and they will return to you. Keep me from any deadly sin. Only you can save me! Then I will shout and sing about your power to save. Help me to speak, and I will praise you, Lord. Offerings and sacrifices are not what you want. The way to please you is to feel sorrow deep in our hearts. This is the kind of sacrifice you won't refuse.

Please pray for me! My prayer is the same as David's "create pure thoughts in me, and make me faithful again....Make me as happy as you did when you saved me; make me want to obey!"

King Canute deserved his own post!! If you never read any of my blogs @ least read this one....

Long ago, England was ruled by a king named Canute. Like many leaders and men of power, Canute was surrounded by people who were always praising him. Every time he walked into a room, the flattery began.

"You are the greatest man that ever lived," one would say.

"O king, there can never be another as mighty as you," another would insist.

"Your highness, there is nothing you cannot do," someone would smile.

"Great Canute, you are the monarch of all," another would sing. "Nothing in this world dares to disobey you."

The king was a man of sense, and he grew tired of hearing such foolish speeches.

One day he was walking by the seashore, and his officers and courtiers were with him, praising him as usual. Canute decided to teach them a lesson.

"So you say I am the greatest man in the world?" he asked them.

"O king," they cried, "there never has been anyone as mighty as you, and there never be anyone so great, ever again!"

"And you say all things obey me?" Canute asked.

"Absolutely!" they said. "The world bows before you, and gives you honor."

"I see," the king answered. "In that case, bring me my chair, and we will go down to the water."

"At once, your majesty!" They scrambled to carry his royal chair over the sands.

"Bring it closer to the sea," Canute called. "Put it right here, right at the water's edge." He sat down and surveyed the ocean before him. "I notice the tide is coming in. Do you think it will stop if I give the command?"

His officers were puzzled, but they did not dare say no. "Give the order, O great king, and it will obey," one of then assured him.

"Very well. Sea," cried Canute, "I command you to come no further! Waves, stop your rolling!. Surf, stop your pounding! Do not dare touch my feet!"

He waited a moment, quietly, and a tiny wave rushed up the sand and lapped at his feet.

"How dare you!" Canute shouted. "Ocean, turn back now! I have ordered you to retreat before me, and now you must obey! Go back!"

And in answer another wave swept forward and curled around the king's feet. The tide came in, just as it always did. The water rose higher and higher. It came up around the king's chair, and wet not only his feet, but also his robe. His officers stood before him, alarmed, and wondering whether he was not mad.

"Well, my friends," Canute said, "it seems I do not have quite so much power as you would have me believe. Perhaps you have learned something today. Perhaps now you will remember there is only one King who is all-powerful, and it is he who rules the sea, and holds the ocean in the hollow of his hand. I suggest you reserve your praises for him."

The royal officers and courtiers hung their heads and looked foolish. And some say Canute took off his crown soon afterward, and never wore it again.

Amazing story! What unworthy things am I praising??? What unworthy things are you praising??

A lesson in Virtues

I recently bought "The Book of Virtues" and am greatly appreciating the lessons it is teaching me. Here are some of the passages I have really enjoyed:

Demosthenes had great ambition to become an orator, but suffered natrual limitations as a speaker. Strong desire is essential, but by itself is insufficient. According to Plutarch, "His inarticulate and pronunciation he overcame and rendered more distinct by speaking with pebbles in his mouth." Give yourself an even greater challenge than the one you are trying to master and you will develop the powers necessary to overcome the original difficulty. He used a similar strategy in training his voice, which "he disciplined by declaiming and recruiting speeches or verses when he was out of breath, while running or going up steep places." And to keep himself studying without interruption, "two or three month together," Demosthenes shaved "one half of his head, that so for shame he might not go abroad, though he desired it ever so much."

Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'- Matthew 5:37

The Flies and the Honeypot- Aesop

A jar of honey chanced to spill
Its contents on the windowsill
In many a viscous pool and rill

The flies, attracted by the sweet,
Began so greedily to eat,
They smeared their fragile wings and feet.

With many a twitch and pull in vain
They gasped to get away again,
And died in aromatic pain

Moral

O foolish creatures that destroy
Themselves for transitory joy

"He that has not a mastery over his inclinations, he that knows not how to resist the importunity of present pleasure or pain, for the sake of what reason tells him is fit to be done, wants the true principle of virtue and industry, and is in danger never to be good for anything." -John Locke

I hope u enjoyed that. I had to type alllllllllllll of it!!!